


The mechanics of a human being

by mofumanju



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-18 00:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12376923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mofumanju/pseuds/mofumanju
Summary: He doesn't understand.





	The mechanics of a human being

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me what it is, don't ask me why I haven't proofread it.   
> I just want to die in nagihiyo ok

He doesn’t really understand what’s happening when gentle arms wrap around him and a flood of words fill his ears, words he has never heard before  - or that maybe he has but has never saved to his mind because how could they be useful to someone living as an ornament inside beautiful walls? He doesn’t feel happy, but he doesn’t feel sad either. He is not able to get the reason behind the ruckus around his person, because his heart feels like ice, burning every bud before it can bloom in beautiful flowers inside his chest.

 

He doesn’t really understand why Hiyori frets so much about him, struggling to teach him how to live in the big bad world - or at least this is what he loves to say every time Nagisa asks him “why”. The words that leave his mouth are the same he has heard for years - “because I care about you” - and still they have a different sound, a note that he can’t really grasp, but that still knows it’s there. Sometimes he raises his hand, trying to brush those notes floating around him like the sweetest melody, and even though he can perceive their warmth, it’s too hard to register them as something good - or something bad, for what he knows. Still, Hiyori never loses his temper, when he doesn’t follow him, when he loses himself in a cloud of foggy thoughts, and if love is there, somewhere in the mist, he hopes to find it, someday, just to give Hiyori something back.

 

“Let’s meet again, on the stage,” Hiyori says, and his heart skips a bit, frightened to be touched with gentle fingertips. Still, the corners of his mouth rise shyly, because looking at that cheerful smile makes him smile too, and somehow he has learned by now that there’s nothing wrong in that. He doesn’t know if that’s some sort of feeling people are used to, but it’s something new for him, an excitement that he has never found somewhere else, not eve in the books Hiyori fed him with until now. He nods, intertwining his pinky finger around Hiyori’s and nodding. He is not sure, not at all, but it doesn’t feel bad, after all.

 

His arms wave toward the sky, stars shining bright over their heads, a soft chuckle resounding in the air once in awhile, hidden under a music that guides his feet and makes him dance, dance, dance until he’s drenched in sweat. The smile on his face is not shy anymore, and tilting his head back, he wonders for a second if it’s as bright as those tiny dots above him and Hiyori. It feels good, he feels free, and after years spent being unable to feel human, at the moment he realises how the blood pumping in his vein makes his chest full of flowers, makes him feel alive. He closes his eyes, losing himself somewhere far from that roof, far from that academy that’s seeing him blooming again, and it’s in that moment that he catches the sound of Hiyori’s voice, that soft chuckle that arrogantly slips inside his ears and run right into his heart. “You are shining, Nagisa-kun,” he says, and he believes it.

 

“Please come back. Let’s work together again,” and he doesn’t really know why it’s so hard to understand those words, when his mind his lost just as much as himself, wandering on a land he doesn’t know, meeting people who try to talk to him, help him, but who are not able to reach his heart. It’s the warmth in Hiyori’s voice that helps him to remember how to breathe properly again, and even if he can’t see him nodding the other side of the phone, Nagisa is sure he knows nonetheless, that he’ll be back for him.

 

He doesn’t really understand, but banks are breaking inside his heart, letting something new pour, spread like sweet poison infecting his body way too fast, when Hiyori’s fingertips caress his chest and stops right where his heartbeat is furious, so impetuous that for a moment Nagisa wonders if he’s sick. It’s like biting the Forbidden Fruit, sweet like honey and sour like the years he has spent alone, thinking he was something that went beyond humanity, thinking he was just a beautiful doll among other beautiful, lifeless objects. He has never experienced love, he’s sure of that, until that gentle hand took his own with an arrogance that Nagisa never knew how to interpret until years later, when he started to understand how humans behave, how they live, communicate, struggle to swim in a sea of emotions he has yet to familiarize with. Hiyori’s silence scares him, somehow, because it’s not something he is used too, when the other one is so noisy at times to make his ears hurt - and still, just a brush of lips is enough to put his heart at ease. Ice is becoming water, and water is feeding his dying flowers, bringing them back to life, giving them another chance - giving Nagisa another chance.   
He doesn’t really understand but, for once, he doesn’t care.


End file.
